I come from a family of teachers; its in our blood. My father is a teacher, my mother is a teacher, my sister is a teacher, my Uncle is a teacher, hell even my wife is a teacher! My Uncle is also a principal at a Westchester, N.Y. middle school. Last month, he called on me for a favor; I was to give three 90 minute 'hands on' Jiu-jitsu demonstrations for 6th, 7th and 8th graders. Now, for those of you who deal with this age group, you know it's a very long time to keep their attention and that my Uncle was placing a large amount of confidence in my abilities by asking me to do bear this burden.

Teaching is not a problem for me, so I gathered some video materials to help me 'kill time' and wrote up a lesson plan. I decided to talk a bit about the history of the sport, show some 'real' fights, and then let the kids try some Jiu-jitsu by participating in a sort of 'introductory' course. As you probably know, middle school kids are real clicky. They have their own little cast system going on that they have most likely established from elementary school. This is not the system of opportunity that we have here in the United States outside the walls of the School where lateral movement is a possibility. This is a feudal era system where once a child is named a nerd, he shall forever be a nerd left with only hopes and nothing more than dreams of getting a date with the hot chicks to the prom. No new sneakers can save you from this fate. Your only hope is that your parents will find a better job somewhere far away so that you may start anew and lie about your entire past. However, Jiu-jitsu had not yet been given the opportunity to shine its light on these young geeks; today would be their salvation and glory!

As the children entered the wrestling room, I scoped them out, quickly identifying the ringleaders and the ones who will never have a need to buy a ring. As the video played, I asked a teacher who the real trouble makers were, she had no problem pointing them out to me in hopes that a swift beating would ensue; I had something better in mind. When the 'hands-on' portion of the demonstration began, I first had to establish myself as "The Ultimate Fighting Champion" in their minds by quickly calling out and defeating a few of the larger wrestlers who thought they were all that and a bag of chips. Once that was out of the way, I had their undivided attention and began pairing the children off. This, for those of you who do not know, is the single most important part of any workshop where children are involved; you must separate the kids who want to be together. This requires your attention and high level of observation throughout the first part of the demonstration. It should be you who is watching them closely. I then proceeded to pair them off in groups of two, like a bizarre world version of Noah's Arc. Every cool kid would have their very own Nerd. At first, this prospect was not only disturbing to them, but quite shocking. Children began to protest, even saying things like, "I don't want to work with him! He Smells!" I insisted that it was my way or an ass-whoppin' and their complaints quickly died down. Despite a look of concern, I could see that the teacher assisting me in keeping things calm knew what I was up to, but still couldn't understand the method to this madness, it was as if I was trying to topple a communist regime!

I showed a couple of basic self defense techniques, which in my experience, children quickly adhere to. The important part came when I announced "The Contest". You see, with children, everything is about a contest; you can have a contest over everything you do and a new champion of the back seat is made every five minutes in the realm of children. I announced that a free book would be given to whoever understood the Mount Escape best. I would time each child's ability to escape the mounted position and whoever achieved the fastest time would win. At this point, you have to go back and remember that I had paired off the dorky kids with bullies that had been picking on them their whole lives: this was all a part of the master plan. As the children were given extra time to review the escape, what I had counted on happening fell into place: the nerds, who were better at paying attention in class began to systematically break down the technique in parts and the 'cool' kids worried more about their hair and the fake finishing move they did after escaping the position.

The moment of truth had finally arrived where each pair was given the opportunity to escape the mount position against their partner. I watched while each nerd grasped his opportunity to defeat his long time nemesis in this controlled 'fight'. As each nerd assumed the position atop his bully, he secured it with a vengeance and enthusiasm never before seen in a middle school environment. Each child handed me their glasses before assuming the position, knowing that this was their one real chance to turn the tides of life and settle the score. One by one, the cool kids fell like squirming fish out of water, using only their sometimes non-existent strength to escape the determined young warriors now clamped on them like a starving lion on a sick gazelle. When it came time for the nerds to be pinned, they escaped with technique, grace and agility in stark contrast to their well-groomed opponents who had only a feeble amount of strength to offer their now victorious pin-cushions of the past. The once visibly concerned teacher turned to me with a look of awe and said, "you just made that kids life."

The 2nd Annual Nashville Grappling Open will be held on Saturday, May 24th at the Franklin Road Academy in Nashville, TN. Competitors will be coming in from all over the country to compete in this tournament.